Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she smelled like a LAN party
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
