Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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