Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
