you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
