one might say we're banned from that church
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
