I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
