Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
