you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
