I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
