life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
