Don't make out with my wife yet
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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