Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
