Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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