i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
