how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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