omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
