If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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