508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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