What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
