dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
