I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
