Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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