now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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