is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's never too late to be topless.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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