You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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