Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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