billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Pooping to opera.
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