we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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