3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
