This is not my ceiling
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
they're like a gay fantastic four
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
