My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Your cock deserves a montage
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
