we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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