His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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