The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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