I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
