Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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