Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
