bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
