I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I am morally bankrupt
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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