just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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