Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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