Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
