CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
