Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
