i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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