he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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