you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
