Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize