Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
