physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
In other news, I just burned my penis
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
