is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
