I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
