You work out of a Hotel?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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