How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
