So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
