if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
