I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
