instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Boobs speak an international language.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
