Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
