they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
This house was built for laser tag.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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