Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
